Generic: Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Stop “Have Reasonable Expectations for Yourself and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as: you lower your expectation flag too low, you’re unsure of what is “reasonable” for you in this time frame
Hello my dears,
management here, otherwise known as your humble narrator Emma Retina. We do apologize for the lack of publications. It’s a hectic time of year. The devoted, deviant darlings should have things operating at a normal pace soon.
Guidelines for our “Looking through the Illness Project”
It does not have to be a photograph.
It does have to be a portrait. It can be of you, it can be someone else or someone fictional that carries significance for you.
We consider the idea of portraits in a wide range of definitions. If you feel your mess desk or organized kitchen says the most about your health right now, we want to see it.
You are not required to write a biography or description but it is encouraged (or even better a poem).
The feeling the portrait emote can be negative, positive or neutral.
General Guidelines for Submissions:
Please send all submissions to Emmaoftheimpact@gmail.com
Considering the philosophy of “good art” please don’t let this make you nervous. We do not have the authority (haha) to don the role of art critic.
The point of ASR is to promote awareness, connection and help be one of the little voices that eradicates the stigma surrounding mental illness.
We accept all forms of artistic expression, from fine art, sketches and more artisan pieces.
You submission could be a coping skill. Mental illness does not have to be the central topic.
I will not accept anything that appears to be promoting self harm.
I will not accept anything that promotes harm to others physically or emotionally.
I will not accept anything that promotes suicide.
For the New Folks on our side of the ward:
What happens when we publish your piece?
Once I have adequately reviewed your work I will email you when it will be up for publication. I want to give everyone’s work the attention it deserves.
Within that email I will include links directly to where your publication is on our website and your mention on our facebook page.
After your piece is published you will be listed on our “Links to submitting artists” on our top menu tab.
If you do not have a personal site we will link to the page your work is published on.
If I have any doubts about your piece I will kindly email you about it and we can work something out.
Despite any themed projects I still am accepting the usual submissions! And am always happy to see them!
If you have a project idea pitch it to me at Emmaoftheimpact@gmail.com
Inpatient Asylum Press:
Contemporary Asylum New:
Nice: mothers-to-be at risk of mental health problems need more support
“Vulnerable women planning a child should receive guidance on how pregnancy could affect their mental health, says report. Women at risk of mental health problems or with existing conditions should receive more support at every stage of pregnancy and after childbirth, according to new guidelines issued by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice). They spell out how doctors, nurses, health visitors and midwives should help pregnant women, new mothers and those who lose babies deal with mental health issues.”
Please read further here
Mental health agency says holidays bring more child depression
“It’s a myth that the suicide rate increases during the holidays, but therapists at one of Southern California’s largest mental health services agencies say they do observe a spike in depression among children and teenagers this time of year.”
Read Further here
In Our Own Voices
This submission is from Caroline Kotter a student of the School of the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. A well-rounded and very real documentary on the topic of Borderline Personality Disorder entitled Who Will Help Me? Who?
“Borderline Personality Disorder is both the deadliest mental illness and one of the least understood mental illnesses. The real tragedy though, is Borderline Personality Disorder is entirely treatable, but this treatment is just not accessible to the majority of the population. This film explores what it means to have Borderline Personality Disorder from the perspective of both patients and professionals. This film investigates the questions: What is it like having BPD? What is treatment like? Why is there such a disparity with access to care? And finally, what can be done to improve this situation?”
We are excited to publish the second installment of Gregoire Patterson’s novella Schizophrenia in Saskatchewan tonight!
September 26th, 2007
Heather phoned. I couldn’t tell her the truth. I am alone here. I can’t tell anyone and ironically everyone knows.
Those drugs you give me were vicious. Used to think people drugged me magically to change my emotions.
Optimism is a mania for saying things are well when one is in hell. Voltaire
People keep saying am going somewhere or I am in or out for that matter. My theory is they are just trying to motivate me. Another example is I have X days left.
It’s early (10 am) I think I got around 4 hours sleep.
TV really messes with me, it’s so fast and it’s not a good idea. I was actually talking to it last night. Makes me think I’ve really lost it. Insane amount of tactical manipulation. It simply cannot be beat.
I need more sleep
Up. You’re right, it’s a total sci-fi movie. Major culture shock. I will probably end up killing myself. If only I had a gun. Be strong.
I don’t trust Heather she is just going to send me to the hospital; I can’t talk to her or Dr. Emslie. And they will spit more lies at me.
I am pretty surprised by how strong I am sometimes. “Not every man is so great a coward as he thinks he is – nor yet so good a Christian.” –Robert Stevenson
I haven’t been that good to Chris sometimes. But I think he realizes the situation I’m in so it’s alright by him.
I am still going to listen to the radio now and than. 5-10 minutes a day, I need encouragement and ideas.
When Heather said I wasn’t in. I think she meant me. I wasn’t in. All these mind games can make things really confusing sometimes. I think there are double meanings in everything. I never know what to believe. I don’t trust her.
I have to run and read. I would run 20 minutes a day and read 1 or 2 hours a day.
Done running, there was this really wicked looking girl at the counter. She said I was hot and that she loved me. These words sound very hollow. I wish I could take people more seriously when they say I love you. I wanted to say fuck it and kiss her.
“She kept your head above water” this made me cry She keep me from crying. They are referring to Celeste, the girl I can’t get out of my head. You’re still trying to do the same thing now. Trying to make me love something so I stay afloat.
There was some comment about sitting bull being squashed by black heart or something. Yeah those drugs you give me are real fair. Funny I don’t feel squashed now. Always telling me how I feel. Damn you. I just don’t believe in evil at all in this situation. I think your intentions are good. But you’re a friggin ass.
I’m hearing voices, you rock, you’re awesome, over and over again. We love you.
Yeah I know my desires are working against themselves.
One against so many. How am I supposed to handle school? I can’t even tell anyone anything I am stuck here writing it down on a piece of paper. It’s like they are trying to deny this happened or is happening.
Am still afraid of being overwhelmed with thoughts/emotions and not being able to focus on school work. I am still able to read quotes now.
I guess I should talk about my sister. Sometimes I feel like she is a complete bitch to me. She has like zero patience. I still think I love her though. Just conversation is difficult, we will surely drift apart when she moves out. Not that there’s much of a relationship anyway. I feel bad about it. Not being there for her, but I never felt she was there for me either.
You’re trying to instill pride or something in me. I know this is your way of making me grow, but it’s harsh as hell. Cold, bitter punches, below the waist.
You can just stop it with that boy/man thing, I know I am a man. Even now your trying to manipulate me, this tactic was thought out and planned. It’s like a carrot on a stick, I act to your standards and I am a man, I don’t and I am a boy. I am not sure what makes you a man, caring for the world, suffering, a woman, take your pick.
Reverse psychology is confusing at the best of times. I can never tell if your trying to use it or being honest with your words.
Great more drugs, am getting cold.
There was some quote which I can’t find but remember. Anyone who can see past his illusions is a philosopher. Ok I give myself credit I’m pretty damn smart sometimes. Another quote:
There is no such [thing] as Intelligence; one has intelligence of this or that.
You brought up these topics so I would think about them. Love, man, intelligence, you’re still trying to control me. I DON’T WANT TO BE CONTROLLED!!
I feel like you just gave me some anxiety drug.
Yeah school, wow… I am not trying to prove anything. I just want to be educated, badly. Maybe I should just accept my status and get a real job. After all no one is stopping me from reading. I think I am just looking for respect though. So I need that piece of paper.
One against the world. That’s what it feels like. And am becoming stubborn and I don’t want to back down. I feel like the fate of mankind is in my hands. It feels like so many people are depending on me, I don’t want to fail them.
I am not sure of my scope but I pretty much assume everyone in Regina knows who I am. I walk into a room and conversations about me happen instantly.
Fame would normally be good. But in my case it isn’t, not this kind of fame. I get lots of attention but it really burns me out.
I have no idea what they really think of me. I’d like to believe some things, but I just don’t. Not when my entire life has been a lie.
I have to read, god it’s cold in here.
Coffee I still drink a pot a day
In medical terms I am in a complete state of psychosis. Thoughts are wild. I can’t handle school as of this moment. Relaxing now is not easy, near impossible. Electronica is nice. Cards worked.
Grief teaches the steadiest of minds to waver. -Sophocles
Better to suffer than to die: that is mankind’s motto. – Jean de la Fontaine
Man needs to suffer. When he does not have real griefs he creates them. Grief purifies and prepares him. –Jose Marti
Walk sounds good. Fun, I got to rest for a bit.
I saw a cute girl, but I was too bewildered to open my mouth and say something. I wanted to ask her for coffee but she left too quickly. It’s safe to bet she knows who I am. Cast? I assume this is on tv or something and she was a volunteer, or paid. Wait they said they get paid nothing.
My mom is acting real weird.
Ipod. Yeah my ipod is talking to me now. FREAKY. Their timing just blows my mind. Just as I was walking up to my house I got the following two comments: Whizzkid, basement. In order for this to happen they must be able to control me or something.
Yeah tomorrow is my big day, I’ve heard that before.
I have to read, I wonder how my concentration will do.
Mom is crying. I don’t blame her she must be in a difficult situation.
Philosophy comment was nice. But it’s too difficult a class for me. Maybe if I had more time to do work. No I’ve tried reading it’s like reading old English.
So fun, so scary, so tired. Seriously this is fun? Losing sanity? I think they are just trying to make me think it’s fun.
I am having difficulty pronouncing my words.
Really out of it right now, I can’t focus.
There playing games. I refused to get an attraction from girls, looked at some guy (firefighter) and well nothing really happened lol. They are seriously abusing me. Like rape or something horrible. I know that sounds dramatic. I am looking forward to death right now.
Look don’t call me a man or a boy, just leave it be. I am tired of hearing this shit.
“I might stay in tonight. It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a duality here or something.
Turn off the fucking tv.
Rough night. Mention of the trip. I don’t really think it will happen though so am not really worried about it.
I feel better. Worried about descending into depression and apathy.
I told some of the truth to my mom. I think I’ll get some talking going, but I am going to stay strongly against going to the hospital. That place is evil.
I swear they can insert ideas and images in my head. There’s a line from one of the reviewers of Eden express that says this is the worst possible condition you can imagine on your child. I’ll have to compared my experience from the author of Eden express. I don’t like trying to reach out for sympathy, I think it’s weak.
As much as I dislike people right now I need them. All we have are each other.
Chip on my shoulder. Sure I think God owes me something.
I am really confused about the mind reading. I wouldn’t really be surprised either way.
I am not coming out until I can get off.
I keep hearing voices. Maybe they are from the tv.
I think the only way I will crumble is if I die. I guess apathy/depression is just as bad.
Answers would be much appreciated. I fucking deserve them, you bastards. Stop trying to make me into something. Just tell me the goddamn truth. Are you trying to turn me into a serial killer or what? Tell me the truth or leave me to live what’s left of my miserable life.
I am tired of your frigging games. Endless games, jokes, comments.
Do you want me to kill myself? If you say yes I will do it.
Aliens don’t scare me
Sat – her – day. What does that mean?
Miles Wolf’s Story:
Hi there, I have schizoaffective bipolar type, along with dependant PD, ptsd, obviously major depression, and I’m also transgender- female TO male. (recently started hormone therapy so I still don’t pass very well but anyways).
My works been getting odder lately as I started writing in numbers, which in the last day has turned to writing in numbers spelled out in letters. Ive been using the basic a=1 b=2 c=3 formula.
So in one picture I have 7.15.4 on my face which spells GOD. I don’t really believe in god or maybe THE god though I sense odd presences that have followed me around. One is a three eyed dog who has spoken to me in my head calling itself Siftiseann. I’ll include him in this email. ive sensed his presence in this world and can tell what he looks like, could see his furs brown and his slightly taller than the top of a basic door jam. Ive sensed him pacing in front of the shower while I showed a day after getting home from the ER for suicidal feelings. He popped up in the ER but as a voice in my head and progressed into an actual presence which is when i realised his furs brown and can see how tall he was. Hes also sat on my bed and surprised me when I walked into the room.
Anyways, Instead of writing words like “unbreathing” I started making it say it in letters whihc for that word is 22.214.171.124.126.96.36.199.9.14.7 Another schizo and funny enough transgender person whos a transwoman I’m secretly in love with took my coding and even made a program to decode and encode it. Her arts even better than mine and has been in more shows than mine. Shes undiagnosed and wont belive shes schizo till someone officially labels her so i know i can’t get her to submit her to you for this disorder. (you can look her work up though if you’re interested in that- Amelia Michlig)
Anyways, I ramble a lot, so the word unbreathing I’ve turned into numbers and I’m hoping Amelia will make another decode/encode program to make this easier, now instead of numbers I’m doing this “twentyone, fourteen, two, eighten, five, one, twenty, eight, nine, fourteen, seven.
Its pretty neurotic.
Awhile ago I had a dream where I was told to press the buttons 5 5 GOLDEN to come back to reality. I’ve obsessed on this a lot. I recently started coding the word suicide for when I want to kill myself as EE which to me means Exit Earth. So now i don’t tell people I’m suicidal i say I want to SEE. Then I blew my own mind realising E is the 5th letter, so 5 5 GOLDEN takes you to reality, but trying to EE translates back into 5 5. Its a strange loop I actually stumbled into. Then I kept flipping out with loose associations realising oh and you have 5 fingers on each hand, so you’re always staring at EE. And funny enough when you SEE you usually need your hands to do it.
I lose myself in my own coding often. I wish more people cared to figure it out or even be interested. It depresses me how alien I feel. Anyways, heres some of my art. Its all 100% done by me even taking the pictures and editing them the make up all that.
Single Piece Submissions
Photo by Basulescu Rebeka
The answer to last page’s riddle: Shorter
Riddle Me This: What is yours but others use it more than you do?